Next time I will pick on someone my own size....

Yesterday was a day full of emotional highs and lows. After waiting out a long early labor with a client for over a day, I finally joined her at her house to labor for a little while before heading to the hospital. Everything was going beautifully and perfect. This day would be grand.

When things started moving along, I suggested we go to the hospital. I always follow my clients in my own car (a practice I'm glad that I enforce now). I was following them really well and unfortunately lost them in traffic. I was a bit flustered because my GPS was frozen, and traffic was stop and go (drive 50mph then stop, drive 50 MPH then stop, drive 50 MPH then stop, you know the drill). While I was flustered and trying to figure out what exit I was supposed to get off on, trying to look around all of the cars to read the road signs, the Marta bus must have slammed on his breaks. I look up and I'm going full force into his bumper. I barely had any space to try and stop. I hit and went under. The rest of traffic around us was still moving fast. I panicked, grabbed my phone and wallet, and got out of the car as fast as I could. I was terrified someone else was going to rear end me. Once I moved to the side of the road, the bus driver motioned for me to get on his bus. I was shaky, but I could walk and I went and sat down. I was so glad to see that the bus was empty. The bus driver called the police and a HERO truck and a tow truck both arrived to help move my car out of the traffic.

My car was toast.

Sorry about the poor lighting. All I had was my iPhone and we were under a bridge. But you get the idea. Car in pieces. Bye bye clunker.

I hadn't thought much about my well-being yet. I immediately started calling around to get a back up doula to go and support my clients whose birth I was missing. I am so thankful to have gotten ahold of my primary back up (my own personal doula) Talitha, who found Paige who was available to go and support my clients. I'm so thankful for the amazing doula community in Atlanta who stand by for days like this. BIG BIG BIG thanks to Talitha and Paige for helping pull through to bring this couple support on their special day.

I'm glad that I had a bit of distraction for a few minutes. Because once I had a moment to sit still and wait on the cops, I started to realize that I didn't feel very good. The tow truck guy had bottles of water in his car and he brought me one. I was very thankful to him. He was very kind and very sweet. So was the bus driver. They both took great care of me until the cop arrived. When the police man arrived, he immediately called in to make sure an ambulance was on their way. Then he put me in his car to lie down and rest. Everyone involved was amazing and so caring.

My first reactions for the rest of the day was full of emotional swings. I was so upset at myself for getting into the accident. My mind kept racing to all of the "what-if's" and worries. I worried about my unborn baby. Then I started wondering what would have happened if my kids were with me. Then I started worrying about the financial situation that I just put our family in. When I got home, I was overcome by relief to see my happy and healthy children. Their smiles, hugs, and kisses soothed my soul. Dale, the hubs, kept telling me to go to bed. Even though I was so tired, it was so hard for me to want to go up to my bedroom and be alone. I just wanted to be with the people I love. I just wanted to count my blessings.

Today, even though it is still all very fresh in my mind and in my heart, I feel like my emotions are coming back into balance. Even though yesterday was such a crazy day, I was able to see God's hand in everything. An unfortunate thing happened. I hit a bus. It hurts when a person in a small car hits a big bus. My body is paying for that now. (OUCH!!!!) But thankfully, the bus was strong and protected it's driver. He is OK, the bus does not even have a scratch, and the bus was empty. God was with me. He helped pick up the pieces. He sent a great doula to support my clients, he sent amazing people to take care of me, and He had is hand in everything.

I am giving God so many thanks and praises today. I am so thankful that the bus driver is ok, and that the baby and I are ok. I am setting my worries aside about the car situation and finances and will take care of that another day. We live in the city and have public transport if we need it. I am not on call for a little while and do not have to worry about that. So, that's no big deal to me. I am so thankful that an unfortunate situation was not so bad because of the amazing people who were all involved.

But I will try to aim for something smaller next time. I am VERY sore. I hurt from head to toe. And I am currently on pain killers. I do not even want to know what I'd feel like if I weren't taking the meds the doctor gave me. Next time, I will try to aim for curb or some small inanimate object. Because, well, buses hurt. One piece of wisdom I have learned from this, try not to hit a bus.