The plus sign on the pee stick did not convince me I guess. So far, other than occasional fatigue and two weeks of barfiness (which could have been mistaken for a terrible flu), I have barely felt pregnant up till last week.
Then something major happened. I became pregnant. Like, I looked in the mirror and said "WHOA!" My belly went from barely pregnant, to "Whoa, she's pregnant!" over night. And I FEEL LIKE IT. I woke up Sunday morning and everything started taking me a long time. I don't have a long time. My kids have no patience for long waits. But every three steps I took, I had to pause and catch my breath. So, like, putting on shoes and getting ready for church was awesome. Then the fun filled day following church was awesome.
And I stepped on the scale and I finally gained weight. 2-3 lbs (hard to tell on my scale).
Today, I had a small project in my mind to complete. We got the kids a swing set for Christmas and we have been slowly but surely getting that thing put together in alllllllllll the spare time that we have. Dale was awesome and got most of it done one day last month. This morning, I wanted to get the ladder and the slide completed. I was hoping to have it finished by lunch. But OH WAIT, I'm like, pregnant, all of the sudden. So, I did not have my little project finished in the normal two hours it would have taken me. It. took. all. day.
Little things like that are the only type of things about pregnancy that take some getting use to on my part. I like to work and stay busy. It's my joy. I certainly have the motivation to get these things done in pregnancy, but I'm lacking the energy. I am still quite able. Just slow going.
This got me thinking about the seasons in a woman's life again today. Men don't have seasons the way women do. We are biologically inclined to change with the seasons. Our bodies are doing something different each week throughout the month. I sort of like that actually. I always try to look at these things and I wonder at God's purpose. I wonder what sort of spiritual lesson is at play there.
This season is a bit more obvious to me. I think I just needed to be reminded of it. Pregnancy is always a very spiritual journey for me. Here I am, a vessel. I am harboring and growing God's child. I will continue to be responsible for growing this child and caring for this child outside the womb as well. Not only does the actual birth of this child take me to the brink of God's miraculous nature, but each trial, joy and tribulation that I experience with that child molds and grows us both. I think once I hit this point in my pregnancy, I hit a point that forces me to slow my pace and listen for God's voice and seek His guidance, and seek His strength, and seek His endurance to help me get through each moment of each day. This constant conversation facilitates a slow dance that carries me into a new stage of motherhood.
So although I am slow, I feel there is a purpose to my sluggishness (aside from the physical aspects of major baby making going on in my belly). Through my slow-going work and efforts, I will look to God. Let's see what He makes of me....
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